Well… Good Ol' Angelis gave us all a brief demonstration tonight of what it means to be a beginning adventurer. It was certainly a rough night… the likes of which hasn't been seen since, well, since last week.  First, ever being the nosy… er… greedy one, Mr. Angelis waited for his party to leave before venturing off into the dungeon in search of his missing equipment, and whatever else he could take, sell, and line his pockets with.  The boy *claims* to be a rogue, yet he managed to set himself on fire, not once, but TWICE!  Most people would have gotten the hint after the first action spent doing the stop drop and roll shuffle, but not our bright boy… nope he goes right back to it.  After managing to make it back to the party, hairless, burned, and once again naked, he was healed by the friendly neighborhood Paladin. When questioned as to what happened, he did what any self-respecting rogue would do, lied through his teeth!  The kicker is that he actually appeared to convince everyone, not the brightest box of crayons, eh? So off the party goes, and they come across one of the two fire traps our good rogue courageously triggered using nothing but his own body. The party notices the scorch marks on the ground, and begins to put together the fact that someone has obviously triggered this trap, and that one member of the party came back burned… but nothing was made of it.  Perhaps it was because they were distracted when Angelis lay the golden egg of reason, stating, "I got a bad feeling about this."  Well thank you Captain Obvious, for your wonderful insight!  Anyway, the band marched on…  and after watching his party walk head first into an ambush, Angelis reacts quickly… and runs away!  He claims to have been attempting to get around behind them, but I guess we'll never know as he plunges head first into a 20' deep hole.  There goes Plan B.  However this story has a happy ending, sorta, when Angelis, after breaking his only 2 daggers, manages to climb out of the hole, and catch up with the party just in time to see then finishing up the last of the baddies.  My Hero!  For his valiant efforts, Angelis has won this weeks "Most Likely to Screw the Pooch" award.  Congratulations!
       In the "did a whole lot of nothing" category tonight, we have both Jess and Zarp.  They were there, being all the average they can be.  Nothing really significant to report for them, just the usual, listen, search, pick, open, cast a spell to create the screaming battle cries of a mob full of warriors, you know the usually stuff.
       The Old man, managed to pull one out of his ass tonight!  After sampling, with Zarp, the gourmet offerings that the dungeon kitchen had to offer along, and finally putting something together that until now the entire part had completely missed (namely, what the HELL are the Humans and the hobgoblins doing together?), he managed to have one of the luckiest shots this unbiased 3rd party reporter has ever seen.  From around a corner, in 95% cover, he casts magic missile at one of a pair of humans armed with light hand crossbows, who are taking pot shots at the party.  He manages to hit one, just as he's firing, knocking him off enough such that he proceeds to shoot his comrade in the back with the crossbow bolt.  Can anyone say, 8-Ball corner pocket?  Good shooting Old guy, keep it up!
       "Filthy" Ike had a busy night tonight, that's for sure.  He was knocking them down, left and right, even managing to slice his own teammates on occasion!  Ike, always the door opener, started out the night by destroying some unwanted weapons, after a good call by Zarp.  That way, with them destroyed, they couldn't be used against us.  When the party got into combat for the night, Ike really shined!  To start things off, he manages to not only kill one of the human attackers, but splatters the poor bastard all over the place!  Including in his eyes, bummer, kinda wish they had some Oakleys huh?  But that doesn't keep him down long, after taking a round to clear his vision, he charges after another one, and while pulling back for another massive swing manages to clip Jess.  Whoa big guy, watch where you point that thing!  Worry not though readers, Jess pulls a matrix style move managing to only take a ¼ of what anyone else would have take from that blow.  The Paladin immediately answers Ike's transgression against Jess with one of his own against Ike, but more on that later.  Ike cuts down another one, and kindly informs the Paladin that he's two up on him, seeming almost as if it were a challenge…
       Sir Drakheim shows his l33t skills tonight as he breaks out a feat of strength to kick an evil nasty door in.  Not just in, but in, through, over and around the room.  Hmmm…  perhaps it was more of a feet of strength?  Anyway, once battle commences, Drakheim is seen drawing his spare sword and getting into the action!  And what a fine sword it is, always prepared, like a boy scout.  Well you know the saying "Proper planning prevents piss poor performance."  After Ike manages to take a bite out of Jess, Drakheim pulls back for a strike and manages to hit Ike!  You know… it's a sad day when we do more damage to our party, than the baddies do to us.  Drakheim picks off 2 more of the humans, evening up the score with Ike.
       The score is all tied up and 2 a piece, bottom of the ninth, one baddie remaining thanks to a nice shot by the Old one.  One of the humans freaked from the war cry brought on by Zarp, calling for someone to "please make the voices stop."  Ol' Man made the voices stop. all right!  You go boy!  Anyway, Ike steps up and over the splattered dead body, showing the Paladin how it's done, and heads for the last human.  The human lunges at Ike, only to find himself disarmed, and a large grinning fighter in front of him.  The Paladin, always looking for a fair fight, picks up the sword and gives it back to the villain.  Not sure what to make of this, the baddie turns tail and runs, but instantly, at the very same moment, Ike and Drakheim slash at him, one blow beheading him, the other removing his torso at the waist.  I don't think Walt Disney himself could have thought up a more "after school special about sharing and competition".  What a giant waste of time.  This reporter's personal opinion is that one of them got lucky, and the other is one big bad ass!  Either way, this week we have to award the "Most likely to beat your ass like a red-headed step child" award to both Drakheim and Ike jointly.  Keep it up guys; we've got them on the run!  Well until next time, remember "It doesn't matter if you win or lose…. What am I talking about?  Of course it does!  Get out there and win, damn you!

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