14th of Eleint, 1369DR
Sacrifices & Hobgoblins
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Game Date: 12.29.00 In Attendance: Bill, Brett, Dave, Ed, Laura, Pat, Tom Dave M.

      It was the best of days… it was the worse of days… especially if you're Sir Drakheim!  Boy, I don't know what he did to piss in Torm's cornflakes, but it was a rough night for him!  First of all, after two of his fellow adventurers somehow missed the glaringly obvious 5' wide, 10' deep hole in the ground and gingerly walk into it (or slowly hobble into it if you're the 'Old Man'); Ol' Drakheim had to lower the rope and save them from certain death.  Then, when the 'Old Man' refused to let our friendly neighborhood Paladin "help him across," the bloody good fellow was smart enough to rip a door off its hinges and use it as a bridge!  Go figure, strong and smart… don't see that much now a days!  The party wrapped up the bad guys in a jiff, thanks to some handy "color spray" action by Lil'man Zarp, and followed by a little throat slicing by Femme Fatale Jess.  Another was felled as the stalwart "Filthy" Ike beheads one of the offending Banite cultists, and in the process gives Jess a little head.  Thought it worked the other way?  Oh well, where was I?  Oh yeah…  So anyway, seeing the death and destruction, the remaining forces ran away… which isn't surprising if you've seen Ike busting heads.  So Sir Drakheim frees Angelis, and Jess frees Jallarzi.  Both had been blindfolded and strapped to sacrificial tables naked, with a hand carved into their chests… would be sacrifices for the cultists.  So in freeing those two, we've added two more whiny, greedy mouths to feed to the lil'band of wet-behind-the-ears adventurers.
      It seems that Angelis, for being a common "traveler", as he claims he is, was pretty gung ho to find the things he was carrying when he fell in with the now departed cultists.  So he proceeds to shamble around the dungeon looking for his equipment with a good part of the other adventurers following blindly behind him… A saying comes to mind here… but I forget what it is, so anyway.  A disturbing bit of nudity occurred when upon entering what turned out to be an empty room, Angelis began rifling through nothing, claiming to be looking through cloths and equipment, then stripped to nothing and looked as though he were putting things on.  After finally being convinced that it was in fact an illusion, and succeeding in seeing through it, he was quoted as saying, "Well Fuck!" as he picked up his robe and dagger.
      Upon further investigation the party came to a room that housed some hobgoblins, who actually seemed to be prepared and expecting our arrival!  Go figure!  Guess we shouldn't have let those cultists escape, huh? (JESS! -DM)  This is where we had a little more fun with our dear Paladin, Sir Drakheim.  The man bursts into the room, pushes a table the hobgoblins were using as cover against them, and begins to plow and crush them.  But one of the hobgoblins, sensing his end, manages to pull an amazing feat… He swings his axe with such force that it catches Drakheim in the chest and sends him flying across the room in pretty bad shape.  Lucky for him, our new chick, Jallarzi, is a Cleric, and she healed him up right quick!  Needless to say, you can't keep a good man down, so Drakheim was up and at it again, and this time with vengeance!  He storms towards the table and the goblins behind it, booting the table out of his path, and probably scaring the shit out of the monsters in the process!  But for at least one, the fear didn't last long as a powerful blow from Drakheim's sword that splattered the bastard six ways from Sunday.  Still on his rampage, Drakheim goes storming off after his second victim, rage still in his eyes… but lands on his ass when he slips in some gore!  Laughing was heard, but the source has yet to be identified.  Standing, he takes a swing at the nearby hobgoblin, but rather than giving that guy what-for, he breaks his sword in TWO!  Now ain't that a bugger?!  Sensing an opportunity, the hobgoblin swung within the paladin's open guard and landed a blow on his shoulder!  Angered over his encounter with the axe that sent him flying, then his run in with the gore on the floor, and finally his favorite sword breaking… Drakheim let all his aggression out in a single gauntleted blow, which not only crushes the hobgoblin's face in, but sends his body flying!  Finally the Paladin begins approaching a remaining hobgoblin in the corner hidden behind a table.  The hobgoblin fires an arrow as Drakheim slowly approaches, but the arrow bounces off his armour harmlessly.  Soft hobgoblin praying, as well as the scent of urine were noticed at the scene.  Jess made it to the scene, flanking the hobgoblin and landing a few blows for herself!  After what appeared to be several minutes of some strange tribal dance between the duo and the unlucky goblinoid, Drakheim crushed him with his bare hands!  For his efforts, he's won today's "MOST LIKELY TO BEAT YOUR ASS" award as well as the "MOST LIKELY TO SCREW THE POOCH" award.  Better luck next time Drakheim.
      Oh yes, but Sir Drakheim wasn't the only interesting sight to see, not by a stretch!  In one of the oddest things ever seen, the 65 year old 'Old Man' decides it would be a good idea to grapple, yes you heard me, grapple with one of the hobgoblins!  What's the real kicker is the old boy actually managed to pin the badass!  Then to boot, Jess managed to work the short sword out of the baddies hand!  Either these two got really good when no one was watching, or that Paladin's God decided he needed a new bitch.  The bastard went to punch the lovely Jess, only to have his hand removed from his body, as Jess easily blocked it… with the sword she just took off the moron!  Yeah Baby!  You go!  Then for the final coupe de gra, the old man pulls his crossbow, puts it to the temple of one Mr. Hobgoblin and says hasta la vista!  Don't think you'll be getting that bolt back anytime soon, Old Man!  Ike, who had a strong beginning, managed only to have himself dragged from combat, unconscious, by our friendly Cleric and healed.  Meanwhile, Angelis sat out the battle, and Zarp felt it necessary to throw some magic stones at the goblins before running like his pants were on fire!

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